I was commissioned to illustrate a children's book last November. And I have indeed been steadily plugging away at it. I managed to do preliminary sketches of every page, redo those sketches and make a few color roughs all while I was still in school. But with the coming of summer, I had found little to no time to work on it. I wonder why I seemed to have more free time while in school...
In the summer, I work. Usually a lot. But since my grandma died in March, my family has become swamped with even more responsibilities. My grandpa has been descending, agonizingly slowly, into more advanced Alzheimer's. He hasn't said my name in years, but I must still be a familiar presence to him. It had been Gramma's job to take care of him. It may be part of the reason she fell ill. There is constant mental strain involved in caring for him. We should know. It's our job now.
We don't want to move him from his house just yet. He's comfortable there and he knows when he's not at home. My mom has been living at The House (grandpa's house) the entire summer to take care of him. It is in Columbia Falls and is a half hour drive from our house. My siblings, Dad and I visit when we are done with work nearly every night. We stay till 10:30 or 11:00. Then we go home. Then do it again.
I was envious of Facebook posts saying someone got to go to the lake, or go camping, hang out with friends, have their own life. I saw the days float past my eyes. Metronome ticks. Suffocated. Stagnant. Suspended.
Alone in this together.
I am mindful enough to know that I am not the only one who feels this way. Each member of my family has put in our share and more to help the situation. However, it doesn't make it less difficult.
Grandpa is a wonderfully polite, sweet man (although everyone has an off day) and we never wanted him to feel like a burden. It's so hard to hear him ask over and over where his Frankie Lou has gone. We haven't healed from her loss and must relive it as often as he asks. Should a man, who was once so strong and independent, be treated like a child?
There is likely more I need to say about this situation, but I have lost my train of thought and have detached from the emotion. Some other time, eh?
The illustration thing, now, is something for which I have some emotion. I promised my client that I would have the whole series of illustrations completed by the first day of Fall and will deliver them that weekend. It's almost pathetic how long it has taken me to finish this work and I am growing more resentful about it. That isn't fair to my client. But I must have greatly underestimated the amount of work I'd need to put into this project.
Another issue I'm facing with this project is what I call my "background dilemma". I was one of those kids who, when coloring in my coloring books, would never pay any attention to the background. I was a no-nonsense subject matter kind of gal. Besides, who wants to spend too much time filling the "sky" with one or more shades of blue when it takes up 2/3 of your page space?? Besides, the spastic strokes never ended up looking nice. The rest of my artistic career consisted of nebulous backgrounds and floaty subject matter (and I likely wont be changing that).
My client specifically requested backgrounds that contain a lot of detail. And it isn't such an issue when you're just doing one painting, although I don't tend to put much detail in my backgrounds normally. This is up to 20 paintings.
Despite my aversion to painting backgrounds and my lack of time to work on it, I am making progress on this project. I will be able to deliver it and be done with it and I can call it a learning experience. What I've learned is this:
*The artist should completely understand the amount of labor required to pull off the project before accepting the task (and compensation).
*The artist should agree with the client that the style of artwork is to be decided by the artist and not altered too much to fit the author's vision. Artists have a tough time deviating from their chosen style. And let me remind you: An illustrator doesn't win a Caldecott Award for artwork that only has "cute" going for it. Interesting, intriguing art is what draws children to a book.
*You're not doing favors by not giving your artist deadlines. A short leash is helpful to keep one on track. If the artist absolutely needs an emergency extension, they will contact you.
Here are some pics of the work in progress.
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