It's A Trap.

No, seriously. It's a trap. If you had known it'd be another lawn care post, I probably couldn't get you here to read this. I lured you here with a memetastic title and opened with jovial language so you'll probably at least skim my post. Ahhhh. Kadie wants pageviews.

I came up with this post topic yesterday at work while cleaning up a month's (or more) worth of shoddy, negligent string trimming on the part of my coworkers. I'm talking about long, shaggy grass on the edges of the lawns. Granted, you'll save yourself a little time while grooming your lawn, but honestly, you aren't doing your lawn any favors by not trimming it....every time.

I also recommend you trim your lawn wherever the grass ends. It could be on a walkway, patio, bark, installed edging....gravel....busy highway.... When you trim a swell bevel cut around your whole lawn, you'll not only make it look like a delightfully verdant pillow, but the trim is absolutely required to complete the look. Even a not-so-verdant lawn looks more classy with a beveled perimeter (assuming there's grass there to trim...). A bevel is almost always popped into your lawn by the professional grass groomer, and offers a clean, manicured look to your little patch of green.

You may notice that after not trimming your grass for a while, the trim will be all yellowy and sparse. It's because your grass isn't trained to be short. Yes, grass can be trained to be green and short at the same time. After training your grass to keep a shorter crop, it will be less unruly between mows and not leave a Yellow Brick Road perimeter when you trim again. Yikes.

Heee! I made a comic.

Grass training... Haaa. But really. Let's delve into a delightful bit of history... the evolution of grass!
 Briefly... Grasslands as we know them evolved alongside grazing mammals in an evolutionary arms race. Browsing animals began to develop hypsodont teeth (continuously growing teeth...that's why horses need their teeth filed down sometimes) in response to the development of phytoliths (tiny silica spikes on the leaves of grass...the reason you get grass cuts. They also cause the teeth of grazing animals to be worn down) in response to the animals eating the plant. Isn't evolution great? Anyway, what this means is that grass evolved to be mowed. The root systems even support constant grazing. Lawn mowers these days serve as "artificial grazers", keeping your grass healthy and living up to its evolutionary worth.

Since grass supports being "grazed", your lawn will continue to thrive even when cropped shorter--like when you bevel your trims... Again, you aren't doing it any favors when you neglect to mow and trim.

There are, however, exceptions to the "trim it every time" thing I do at work.
*When the grass is too dry to grow, let alone be green, feel free to give it a break... and some water.
*When you are just starting to train your grass (though this isn't a great time of year to try to train your grass), it'll be sparse and yellowy. Trim it every other week to allow it time to recuperate and put out runners from its rhizomes. This will thicken up the trim and allow it to be green when short (think: more grass than dirt).

When starting to train your grass, give it plenty of water and if you haven't fertilized lately, use a mild, balanced summer mix to your lawn (we used 19-19-19 as a summer ratio). I would certainly recommend starting to train your grass much earlier in the summer/late spring when it's not so gosh darn hot.

Enjoy your pro-style lawn. Trap ya later. :)

Princess Pantsless.

This will be one of those "The Mower You Know" posts but I will spare the practical landscape advice (although I could go to town on string trimmers). This is a little anecdote from today.

My boss, Flo, is one of the most amazing people ever. Spunky, strong and kind. She's the type who will let you have the day off early but still pay you for an 8 hour day just because. Or buy the whole crew lunch. Or let you borrow any of her equipment, including the dump trucks and Walkers, so your lawn can look nice too.

She has to deal with a lot of people every day....homeowners and property managers and such. Some are nice. Some are not so much. It takes a lot out of you to deal with the not-so-nice people. Kudos to Flo. She's tougher than a lot of people.

Flo always says that everyone should have to work landscape maintenance at some point in their life. I totally agree. You learn the best way to lay out your landscaping so you can get lawn mowers through (seriously, someone has randomly spaced boulders in their grass and you can't even get a push mower through...you gotta string trim the whole thing!), which trees will overpopulate your yard with suckers and runners, what kind of plants the deer will just decimate... and just how hard landscape maintenance can be.

Then there are the complainers. I can handle them to a point, especially if they're nice about it. But some of the complainers are just plain nasty. Obviously, they have never worked a day of their life in the dirt. Perhaps they don't realize that when we're mowing and trimming a line of housing units, each one more identical than the last, we need to divvy up our energy along a half-mile stretch of units. Most people compliment our work and tell us we're pretty and make us the most amazing blueberry pancakes I've ever tasted. And then to some people, we can never be good enough.

That brings me to the case of Princess Pantsless. She lives in an $800,000 condo right near the middle of the aforementioned half-mile stretch of identical units. Princess Pantsless is a 50-something-year-old woman who always wears the big bug-eyed sunglasses. Her newly inflated boobs obviously loft her ego to another level. She cornered my sister and I earlier this summer and half-heartedly apologized for "not being dressed". Indeed, she was wearing just a shirt that barely reached mid-thigh and must believe bras are for squares. She wanted to inform us that her shrubs "looked crappy". I apologized and let her know that there had been sort of a pandemic through the development of the sand cherries going belly-up. Our crew had been replacing them all week. She wanted hers done now. Also, she had torn out a bunch of lilacs and wanted us to lay sod where she had done that. We don't lay sod...but I told her we could reseed it... She sure used the word "crappy" a lot.

When we informed Flo of the 'requests' she asked if it was from the lady who never wears pants. Yes it was. Apparently, she's always drawing attention to the fact that she's not wearing them. 'Pardon my nudity. I'm so rich I don't need to wear pants...' We did her bidding and figured she'd be happy. Not so.

Just today, she attacked Kasidy, again, not wearing pants, to let her know that she and her husband thought their lawn looked "disgustingly crappy" and went on to complain about the grass wasn't cut to the exact height they wanted, etc., etc. When Flo went to discuss the altercation with them, they told her to "get the f*** off their property". Gladly. They are the only people who have told us they thought we were doing a terrible job. They're going to get an earful from the head of the homeowner's association. He's on our side. :) We're gonna skip their lawn from here on out.

My point is: be nice to your landscape maintenance worker (make us some blueberry pancakes?) and we will go out of our way to make sure your lawn is extra well-cared for. Even if you're a random unit in a half-mile stretch. Be a nasty, and we'll skip your lawn.

Plus, Kasidy has a thing about making therapeutic pinata effigies to destroy... Princess Pantsless is next on the list. Flo wants in on the action too.

But Flo always says that in heaven, it'll be those nasty people who'll be mowing her lawn while she sips a rum and coke on the patio. Doesn't that just sound heavenly?

Fat Phobia.

If I don't put myself on a structured eating plan, I tend to eat badly. In "dieting" I'm actually allowing myself to be more mindful of what I'm eating rather than going on a food free-for-all. Since graduating college, I have put on a few pounds. Nothing outrageous, mind you, but just enough to make me realize that I'm probably better off following a plan, and preferably one I could stick to for a long time. I didn't want any fad or crash diets aiming to knock off a ton of weight. I wanted something that would be healthy and enjoyable. So I started doing some research.

($24.95 on Amazon)

That's when I came across a diet called the "Perfect Health Diet". It was written by Paul and Shou-Ching Jaminet, a husband and wife team of Ph.D scientists. They claim that their diet plan will "renew health", including curing many diseases, and offer those who follow it a long and ultimately ideal life. They make these claims because, after researching and implementing the diet since 2005, it is working for them!

Their book is extensively researched and includes references to current, peer-reviewed articles from scientific journals and is peer-reviewed itself. I did my research and looked into reviews of the diet and could find few hits against them. I figured I'd give it a try. Besides, I just love sciencey things. :)

The primary focus of the diet is to reduce the amount of toxins you ingest. Makes sense; who wants to eat toxic stuff? The diet is considered 'low carb' but not low enough that I would miss having carbs. It is reminiscent of a Paleo diet (which are actually quite popular now) in which you eat foods that your body has evolved with but it is much lower in protein. Perhaps the most striking thing about this diet is that it requires that about 65% of your daily calories come from fat! Saturated plant and animal fats at that.
The macronutirent ratios for this diet by calories is 20% carbs, 65% fat, and 15% protein.
The only snag-up I had with this diet is, of course, fat phobia.

 Fat phobia, they claim, is very misplaced and they offer many scientifically-supported reasons why humans should be receiving the majority of their calories from fat (and why the other ratios are the way they are). (From pages 8-10 of the PHD book).

Why the heck are these nutrient ratios ideal for "perfect health"??

*Evidence of nutrient breakdowns of ancestral hunter-gatherers-humans evolved on macronutrient ratios such as the one offered by the Perfect Health Diet. The authors take into consideration the fact that ratios were different based on latitude and placed their ratio in the middle of the spectrum.

*The nutrient ratio in human breast milk (as well as the milk of other mammals) is ideal for babies- therefore, it must also be (with slight adjustment) ideal for adult humans. They're just larger babies you know. The breakdown in breast milk is 39% carbs, 52% fat and 19% protein. The higher percentage of carbs in breast milk is to fuel the baby's growing brain. The consumption of carbs by the adult brain is less than half that of infants.

*You are what you eat- The lean human body (when you exclude water and minerals) is made up of 74% fat and 26% protein by calories. Food should be eaten in a similar ratio to support this breakdown.

*Omnivorous animals instinctively eat low-carb, high-fat diets-Instinct is the best reference for what your body needs. When you crave certain foods, it is your body's way of telling you that you're deficient in specific nutrients.

The types of fat you eat are very important though!

(From pages 46-91 of PHD book)

There are 4 types of fats you should know about: Saturated (SaFA), Monounsaturated (MUFA), Omega-6 and Omega-3 (both are Polyunsaturated--PUFA).

*Saturated and monounsaturated fats are long-chain fats and are the ideal source of fat on this diet. You can eat them in high quantities because your body can always use them.
 -"They are the core structural fats of the human body, making up 75-80% of the fatty acids in most cells"(p.76)
-"They are the primary energy source for most of the body and a healthier form of energy than glucose" (p.76)

*As their chains are burned by your body, there are no toxic byproducts. Only carbon dioxide and water are left; the chains are chemically stable.

Why are saturated and monounsaturated fats healthier for you than carbs? The authors do not support a zero-carb diet because the glucose derived from carbs are very important to the function of the brain. Your body could also have a glucose deprivation from too much restriction (p. 32).
The reason SaFAs and MUFAs are healthier is because:

*In quantities over 600 calories of carbs per day (the maximum level needed by your body), your body will just slowly convert those calories into fat anyway with an increase in blood glucose levels (p.43-4).
*Glucose toxicity is possible on a high-carb diet, and the body does not have any healthy ways to dispose of excess glucose (p. 44).
*As your body converts glucose to fat, it creates toxic byproducts--not an issue with saturated fats
*Glucose feeds bacteria that can run rampant

Don't be afraid of fat--
"Summer [food abundance] is not meant to make people fat; it is meant to make people strong" (p. 80).

*Your muscles are the preferred storage for excess SaFA and MUFA. Your muscles alone store tens of thousands of calories from these fats; adipose cells will store further amounts (p.78). You can see increased muscle mass from high fat diets. In times of food scarcity, your body eats away at your muscles to obtain its macronutrient ratios of 74% fat and 26% protien (glucose can be synthesized from protein). Adipose tissues (the 'flab') stores little protein and is an unbalanced way to obtain nutrients in times of starvation--you wouldn't survive long on your fat stores alone (p. 80).

But what about all that cholesterol??

*Saturated fats improve lipid profiles: (p.79)

-They increase levels of 'good' HDL cholesterol (lots of references to studies and journal articles cited in book)

-"Makes 'bad' LDL particles larger and more buoyant, protecting them from glycation and oxidation...the healthful pattern of LDL cholesterol-carrying particles" (p.79).

What you really want to avoid are Omega-6 fats! 

These fats are found in processed seed oils like canola, safflower, soybean, corn etc. These are the bad guys. You should avoid them at all costs (especially soy...) Sadly, these fats are found in almost all processed food.

They must be balanced by Omega-3's but both of these PUFAs can be toxic in high quantities

*Omega-6 causes obesity in rodents and humans, impairs immune function, causes allergies and increases likelihood of intracellular infections and diseases associated with aging (p. 59).

Short Chain Saturated Fats 

These are our friends. 

*Coconut oil is highly touted in this diet and is 54% short chain fat. (2 tablespoons is recommended per day). Short chain fats "strongly promote weight loss" (p. 90).

*Butter is another source of short-chain fat

*Short chain fats produce ketones which protect neurons, improve mitochondrial function, protect against cancer. Ketogenic diets are therapeutic for disorders caused by neurological glucose deprivation.

This is just a little ditty to help take another look at fat phobia. Granted, you can't increase the amount of (healthy) fat and still keep to your old eating habits... Perhaps this could be enough to help you think about trying out this diet.

Here's a few resources to help you get started:

Reviews on the Jaminet's blog, positive and negative, see if you're convinced!

*http://perfecthealthdiet.com/?p=1742

The Perfect Health Diet blog--includes recipes, advice and new scientific articles relevant to the diet:

*http://perfecthealthdiet.com/

A helpful summary of the eating guidelines:

*http://samsnyder.com/2011/07/20/perfect-health-diet-blog/

Now, I've done quite a bit of research (and math) and have started compiling a "cheat sheet" of snacks, carbs, protein, fats and recipes with their macronutrient ratios. The trouble with the diet is that they don't have an eating plan or recipe book so it can feel kind of overwhelming to get started. It gets easier as you go though! I'll post my research/eating plans later.

Telo-"Mirror" on the Wall...

 Telomeres and aging:

When I get the chance, I like to do a little Stumbling (via stumbleupon.com). My favorite things to happen upon are physics games, rage comics and, of course, scientific articles. I recently Stumbled upon an article from Scientific American about telomeres.

Now, this article details the relationship between the length of telomeres in your DNA and your biological age, including how telomere length might be linked to age-related illnesses and perhaps even their role in aging itself.

First things first. Telomeres are made up of  repeating sequences of  the bases TTAGGG and are found at the ends of DNA. They are nonsensical sequences and therefore do not code for an amino acid or contain any pertinent information. Their purpose is to serve as a buffer or cushion for the delicate genetic sequences as your DNA replicates and divides, keeping the important genes from being jumbled.

As your DNA divides, a process that occurs constantly throughout your entire life, the length of your telomeres shortens slightly. When telomeres get too short, the cell dies. Or the cell can be damaged from lack of its protective telomere buffer and can become cancerous.

In short, you don't want short. Telomeres that is.

People with shorter telomeres may be predisposed to aging faster than those with longer telomeres. You could even look 6 to 8 years older than you are if your telomeres are short. And there is a positive correlation between having longer telomeres and having a longer life span!

Telomere length varies between people but studies suggest that they are controlled by genetics. And here's hoping! The Zimmerman side of my family is in such great health. My aunt is in her mid-fifties (you'd never guess) and has wonderfully beautiful skin. My grandpa is in his late-eighties and goes for long walks every day and still works on the farm. I'm hoping long telomeres run in the family.  :)

There are ways to help hang on to your telomeres, and keep yourself from aging too quickly.

*keep yourself healthy and boost your immune system--viruses can shorten your telomeres
 ---This includes eating nontoxic, nonreactive food; exercising; reducing stress
*avoid getting sunburned! and while you're at it, avoid all types of mutagens including smoking. It is stressful for your cells to compensate for the inflicted damages. Cells in overdrive run your telomeres down!

Take a peek at a few of the interesting articles I found on telomeres for a more in-depth understanding. Information from this post came from both of these articles (although I researched a lot more than these two).

*http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=aging-telomere -----(a well-written, interesting article, not dry at all!)

*http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/begin/traits/telomeres/

Word of the Day.

I'd like to share with you something about me that's perhaps a little strange. Every once in a while, completely at random, a word will pop into my head. Maybe it's a word I've heard before but never really knew the meaning. This word will plague me for several days until I finally get around to looking it up. Then I'm free of it until another random word comes to mind.

I think the first word that ever popped into my head was pseudopod. It literally means "fake foot" and refers to the way amoebas and white blood cells move.
Apparently, the random words that come to my mind aren't in the least bit useful for everyday conversation. :p

Recently, I had the word salubrious pop into my head. So here's the definition of that: "healthy; life-giving; pleasant".

My latest word visitor was esoteric. From http://www.merriam-webster.com:  "limited to a small circle; of special, rare, or unusual  interest; designed for or understood by the specially initiated alone".

So, there you have it: random words that you are likely never going to use in daily conversation. But I will still post them whenever they come to me. Might as well put some use to them in the form of random vocabulary lessons. :)

Baby Birdy.

Mostly just wanted to post some pictures I doodled of my birdy. Even as I type this he's asking me what it is I am "doing over there". So sweet. :)